In elementary school I recognized that the word "weird" was just my name spelled backward with a lonely looking "I" standing in the middle of it. My mom assures me that she and my dad weren't trying to send me that message when they chose my name. She also assured me, over and over, that normal really wasn't what I should be shooting for anyway. Different wasn't just ok, it was desirable.
In junior high, some of my closest "friends" decided that they would spread a rumor that I was gay if I didn't do like they did and get a girlfriend. The thought of such a label terrified me, but so did romantically pursuing some seventh grade girl. I was doomed... and then Diana asked. We "dated" just long enough to placate peer pressure, then it was over. I can still feel the awkwardness of the whole situation now as I recount it.
Since then my memory convinces me at times that I have stood alone more often than not. It might not be really be true though. Then there was tonight. After a lonely couple days, feelings of abandonment by my students, and the pressure of hard conversations and faculty dynamics had peaked, an afterwork nap on the couch seemed the appropriate recourse. I awoke to an embarrassing phone call. I had forgotten the adaptive needs sports team that I was going to grill for at the school! I was late, and they were trying to make due without the services that I had promised. Hustling as hard as I could with my tail so deep between my legs I rushed and risked to undo the shameful abandonment I was guilty of. Through it all -- she was there and that made all the difference.
So, between junior high and now the Lord saw fit to bless my loneliness with the most beautiful and wonderful red-headed lady the world may ever know. On this occasion she anxiously helped me throw things together in my embarrassed rush, she called over and over at the most inopportune times, and ultimately just came and stood by my embarrassed side in the high school lunchroom -- with me - in support.
I'll be forever grateful for the God who knows me so well that He knows exactly how to run to my aid in every time of need including this one. I'm also grateful for the beautiful little redheaded girl that was His hastening feet today.
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