Seeking Home

Should others know?

It's been an interesting experience telling people about our plans. This post isn't about how they came about, or what they even are, but more the learning experience that this process has been. 

Deana and I noticed that people respond in a few different ways to the news that the state Home Builders Association (HBA) is demolishing our house and building a new one for the purpose of helping us improve Christi's quality of life. In the eyes of some we will see genuine joy mirrored as we rejoice together, in the eyes of others there is less excitement. I think I understand it too - we certainly don't deserve it. 

We know of so many others with such difficult circumstances and no such calvary coming to their rescue. Why us? We ask it too. Some of these interactions became awkward enough that we - and that's significant, because my wife is much more socially adept than I am - decided to quit telling new people about it. In the discomfort of our obvious unworthiness, we even contemplated declining the offer.

I heard on the news this morning that one of the worlds wealthiest men, Elon Musk, was paying $1 million to a few lucky voters in Wisconsin if they'd sign a petition for a particular candidate for the state supreme court. So there are certainly more frivolous expenditures and promises, and more dubious ways of spending even large amounts of money. Unlike that, however, this effort has nothing to do with the political influence of a multi-billionaire and it doesn't really come from deep pockets at all. Steve, our contact with the HBA, asked us to create a slideshow to introduce people to Christi and her needs. He's been showing it at various meetings for over a year now, soliciting donations. I wonder how many people have become familiar with our faces through his presentations without ever meeting us. Would it make for an awkward passing in a super Walmart when only one of us recognizes the other? Would it be more awkward if I were wearing sweatpants and a stained shirt and scolding one of my kids at the time? We are unworthy.

Are we supposed to feel unworthy? 

When Jesus asked Simon Peter to cast out for a drought and subsequently filled his and his compatriot's boats to the sinking point with fishes, Peter responded saying, "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord." (Luke 5:8) That could have been the end of the story had Jesus obliged. He didn't though, He had other things in mind for those fishermen. When Jesus appeared to the Nephites in the land Bountiful after His resurrection, their growing realization of who He is culminates with the combined exclamation "Hosanna!" or "Save us now!" (3 Nephi 11:17) In recognizing the incredible goodness, power, and holiness of their resurrected Savior, Jesus Christ, and having personally felt the wounds in His hands, feet, and side they must have known and felt it was for them. And because they each had their individual opportunity for this personal experience - they must have felt it individually too. Like Elder Renlund shared of a woman who had been overlooked in the administration of the sacrament in her ward:

   "One Sunday, as [Diane] sat in the congregation, the layout of the chapel made it so that the deacon did not see her as the sacrament was passed. Diane was disappointed but said nothing. Another member noted the omission and mentioned it to the branch president after the meeting. As Sunday School began, Diane was invited to an empty classroom. 

   A priesthood holder came in. He knelt down, blessed some bread, and handed her a piece. She ate it. He knelt down again and blessed some water and handed her a small cup. She drank it. Thereafter, Diane had two thoughts in rapid succession: First, "Oh, he [the priesthood holder] did this just for me." And then, "Oh He [the Savior] did this just for me." ("That I Might Draw All Men unto Me," April 2016)

The Lord emphasized to Joseph:

    "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him." (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10-11, emphasis added) 

What should we do with this feeling? (still a work in progress - more to come)