For Zion

"But the laborer in Zion shall labor for Zion; for if they labor for money they shall perish." (2 Nephi 26:31, emphasis added) 

One of the questions on the get to know you sheets that I'd pass around to my students asks what kind of a profession they would like to pursue. Sometimes I'd get answers like "rich" -- and that always reminds me of the scripture above. Pursuing this truth there are a couple questions that need answering: What does it mean to labor for Zion as opposed to for money? Does this mean we are to refuse payment? What does it mean to perish? There are plenty of wealthy people who seem to have sought it with a determined and singular approach just fine. 

Zion can be defined a few ways scripturally: a chosen land (D&C 58:49-50), the Lord's people (Moses 7:18), and a state of heart (D&C 97:21). I think the latter two definitions are most helpful for understanding this scripture.

The Lord describes the people He calls Zion as being of one heart and mind and dwelling together in righteousness without any poor among them. This society is interested enough in each others welfare that poverty is eliminated. Their interest in unity has overcome all selfish interests. To labor for that kind of Zion would require someone to buck the one of the prevailing trends in of our current day: profits over progress. It has been demonstrated over and over to the observant citizen, that large and wealthy industries and the share holders within them are more interested in preserving and enlarging their profits than they are in benefitting human kind. The oil industries repeated killing of alternative fuel vehicle startups is only one of a tidal wave of examples. In a capitalist market, without moral discipline, money becomes God. On a personal level, the laborer in Zion's own drive for personal enrichment would have to be checked by the desire to lift and bless all others in his society. His yearning to lift them would emerge instead of just his desire to lift his own household above theirs. Maybe that's what his heart needs to be purified of - the pride of one-up-man-ship. 

Do I really labor for Zion? Am I really seeking to lift and change my society for the better with my efforts? Or is it only a means to the end that is my paycheck? While it is a natural and God-given inclination to support those within one's stewardship. To do so in a way that genuinely lifts all others - and for that to be one's true motivation seems to be much more noble than racing rats. Perhaps it comes only as we broaden our understanding of our stewardships - to include our communities - that we begin to care enough to approach Zion.    

The Responsibility to Provide

 

"By divine design, fathers.. are responsible to provide the necessities of life.. for their families." (The Family Proclamation) I read a book a few years back that claimed the human form was, among other living animals, the best suited of them all -- for distance running. Aspects of human anatomy like the achilles tendon, the presence of an independent diaphram, and our upright stature were cited as distinctly advantageous. These allowed certain tribesman to persistence hunt antelope across the African savanna. Not able to match their speed, the hunters would track their prey on the run, catching up to them just before they recovered over and over until they were too exhausted to flee. Physical form had prepared the way. There are, of course, many other things the our physical form could be uniquely gifted at and prepared for. We were created in the image of an all-powerful Father and Mother. 

What about the design of our spirits? What could it mean that fathers were designed to meet the responsibilities of providing for families? Are there certain pieces of our spiritual anatomy that predispose us? Certain interests or capacities that persuade us? I remember hearing that the motives of providing, presiding, and protecting are played upon generously by video game producers interested in enticing young men. That seems to make sense. Perhaps less familiar with spiritual than physical anatomy, I digress.

At lunch with Mark Schultz olympic champion and then coach of the BYU wrestling team, he asked me what I planned to pursue as a potential career field. My less than convincing answer belied my indecision. I was young, and figured I had time yet to decide the pursuit I would be giving over a quarter of the waking hours of my adult life to. He asked what my dad did for work. When I told him he was a school teacher, he assured me that I would likely find something lucrative - most he knew that grow up in such scarcity did. The thing is, I didn't really feel like I had grown up in scarcity. I did notice we didn't live in luxury, but I don't think I cared much, then or now. His confidence in my future prosperity was memorable enough for that day.          

Attending various class reunions and other adult gatherings over the years have left me with the impression that there is an underlying belief that net worth and actual worth are in fact correlated. That is, in my opinion, a specifically potent poisonous position.

What about the potential of job loss? What about the conflicts that may arise between climbing the corporate ladder and being there for family? If the numbers in my bank account are growing shouldn't I be growing happier and happier too? 

Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God (See D&C 18:10,15-16). It is His work and His glory to bring to pass their immortality and eternal life (See Moses 1:39). He who possesses all things cares most about His children - their growth and progression. To become like Him and qualify for the promised blessing of all that He hath, they must learn to prize what He prizes too.   

"...[T]he riches of the earth are mine to give;" the Lord told the early Saints of this dispensation, "but beware of pride, lest ye become as the Nephites of old." (D&C 38:39) 

Because they are His to give, seeking them to his exclusion makes little sense. Even in this small verse it is evident that he is much more concerned with the soul than the pocketbook.

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth," the Lord's voice echoes from the mount, "where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Matt. 6:19-21).

In the Book of Mormon the wearing of costly apparel is always the companion of the prideful mistreatment of others and a precursor to destruction. 

Timothy taught that,

"...[T]he love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows" (1Timothy 6:10). 

Causing God's children to err from their faith in Him and pierce themselves through with sorrow is the obvious work of the devil who seeketh to make all men miserable like unto himself. He lurks around this divine responsibility to provide as nearly as the river of filthy water follows the path to the Tree of Life.

The Father doesn't cede the territory though, He asks us for an invitation into our career fields and financial pursuits saying:

"Cry unto [me] over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them. Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase" (Alma 34:24-25).  

He comes both to generously bless and carefully protect those who invite His influence into their labors.

To the early Nephites, the Lord gave this counsel and promise: 

"But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good--to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted." (Jacob 2:18-19)  

I remember wondering what exactly the Lord meant by "obtain a hope in Christ." I've come to conclude that it has to do with the hope of a glorious resurrection in and through Him because the course of life I am pursuing is carefully aligned with His will. It is a change in me that makes me more concerned about others than my own financial bounty. Wealth is a means for the expression of that changed heart and not the object of it. The firmly changed heart magnifies the good in the gift while honoring and delighting the giver. United in purpose, they may become an agent of the Father for the fulfillment of His purposes on earth. 

Maybe I'm Charlie Brown...

One of the most challenging things I consistently face in this life is loneliness. Ironically, I don't think I'm alone in this.

In elementary school I recognized that the word "weird" was just my name spelled backward with a lonely looking "I" standing in the middle of it. My mom assures me that she and my dad weren't trying to send me that message when they chose my name. She also assured me, over and over, that normal really wasn't what I should be shooting for anyway. Different wasn't just ok, it was desirable.

In junior high, some of my closest "friends" decided that they would spread a rumor that I was gay if I didn't do like they did and get a girlfriend. The thought of such a label terrified me, but so did romantically pursuing some seventh grade girl. I was doomed... and then Diana asked. We "dated" just long enough to placate peer pressure, then it was over. I can still feel the awkwardness of the whole situation now as I recount it.

Since then my memory convinces me at times that I have stood alone more often than not. It might not be really be true though. Then there was tonight. After a lonely couple days, feelings of abandonment by my students, and the pressure of hard conversations and faculty dynamics had peaked, an afterwork nap on the couch seemed the appropriate recourse. I awoke to an embarrassing phone call. I had forgotten the adaptive needs sports team that I was going to grill for at the school! I was late, and they were trying to make due without the services that I had promised. Hustling as hard as I could with my tail so deep between my legs I rushed and risked to undo the shameful abandonment I was guilty of. Through it all -- she was there and that made all the difference. 

So, between junior high and now the Lord saw fit to bless my loneliness with the most beautiful and wonderful red-headed lady the world may ever know. On this occasion she anxiously helped me throw things together in my embarrassed rush, she called over and over at the most inopportune times, and ultimately just came and stood by my embarrassed side in the high school lunchroom -- with me - in support. 

I'll be forever grateful for the God who knows me so well that He knows exactly how to run to my aid in every time of need including this one. I'm also grateful for the beautiful little redheaded girl that was His hastening feet today.        

Seeking Home

Should others know?

It's been an interesting experience telling people about our plans. This post isn't about how they came about, or what they even are, but more the learning experience that this process has been. 

Deana and I noticed that people respond in a few different ways to the news that the state Home Builders Association (HBA) is demolishing our house and building a new one for the purpose of helping us improve Christi's quality of life. In the eyes of some we will see genuine joy mirrored as we rejoice together, in the eyes of others there is less excitement. I think I understand it too - we certainly don't deserve it. 

We know of so many others with such difficult circumstances and no such calvary coming to their rescue. Why us? We ask it too. Some of these interactions became awkward enough that we - and that's significant, because my wife is much more socially adept than I am - decided to quit telling new people about it. In the discomfort of our obvious unworthiness, we even contemplated declining the offer.

I heard on the news this morning that one of the worlds wealthiest men, Elon Musk, was paying $1 million to a few lucky voters in Wisconsin if they'd sign a petition for a particular candidate for the state supreme court. So there are certainly more frivolous expenditures and promises, and more dubious ways of spending even large amounts of money. Unlike that, however, this effort has nothing to do with the political influence of a multi-billionaire and it doesn't really come from deep pockets at all. Steve, our contact with the HBA, asked us to create a slideshow to introduce people to Christi and her needs. He's been showing it at various meetings for over a year now, soliciting donations. I wonder how many people have become familiar with our faces through his presentations without ever meeting us. Would it make for an awkward passing in a super Walmart when only one of us recognizes the other? Would it be more awkward if I were wearing sweatpants and a stained shirt and scolding one of my kids at the time? We are unworthy.

Are we supposed to feel unworthy? 

When Jesus asked Simon Peter to cast out for a drought and subsequently filled his and his compatriot's boats to the sinking point with fishes, Peter responded saying, "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord." (Luke 5:8) That could have been the end of the story had Jesus obliged. He didn't though, He had other things in mind for those fishermen. When Jesus appeared to the Nephites in the land Bountiful after His resurrection, their growing realization of who He is culminates with the combined exclamation "Hosanna!" or "Save us now!" (3 Nephi 11:17) In recognizing the incredible goodness, power, and holiness of their resurrected Savior, Jesus Christ, and having personally felt the wounds in His hands, feet, and side they must have known and felt it was for them. And because they each had their individual opportunity for this personal experience - they must have felt it individually too. Like Elder Renlund shared of a woman who had been overlooked in the administration of the sacrament in her ward:

   "One Sunday, as [Diane] sat in the congregation, the layout of the chapel made it so that the deacon did not see her as the sacrament was passed. Diane was disappointed but said nothing. Another member noted the omission and mentioned it to the branch president after the meeting. As Sunday School began, Diane was invited to an empty classroom. 

   A priesthood holder came in. He knelt down, blessed some bread, and handed her a piece. She ate it. He knelt down again and blessed some water and handed her a small cup. She drank it. Thereafter, Diane had two thoughts in rapid succession: First, "Oh, he [the priesthood holder] did this just for me." And then, "Oh He [the Savior] did this just for me." ("That I Might Draw All Men unto Me," April 2016)

The Lord emphasized to Joseph:

    "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him." (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10-11, emphasis added) 

What should we do with this feeling? (still a work in progress - more to come)

Forty-Five

 Joseph Smith Sr. was 45 when his Vermont farm failed. That's my age. As the provider for his large family (9 kids), I'm sure it weighted heavily on him. The circumstances weren't even in his control. Mt. Tambora in Indonesia had erupted with such force on the other side of the world that it caused "the year without a summer." Midsummer frosts doomed many crops worldwide. To save his family, the Smiths picked up and moved. 

Martin Harris was a different story. By the time he was 45 he had amassed over 300 acres of farmland. He was well enough off to take time off for travel. The Lord put him close to the prophet Joseph too. His relationship with his wife was a little rocky, but maybe the money had kept problems from coming to the surface for awhile. I heard a political pundit claim in November that Kamilla Harris' campaign may have suffered from her fundraising success. Money tends to insulate businesses and organizations from recognizing problems until they become larger and maybe out of control. The same might be true for individuals and families too.

Sorry, forgot to ask. Is now a good time for a midlife crisis? I'm not sure I know exactly what that feels like, but every now and then when I feel restless or without much traction I wonder... 

I came home on Saturday from the wrestling tournament feeling impotent. Four coaches at the arena was good for the one time we had four matches going at once, but otherwise I was just another guy making noise in the corner. Some of the wrestlers are starting to make some real progress. That's exciting, but likely not a direct result of my efforts. As effective and useful as I try to be, I have a growing feeling that I would be making a greater difference elsewhere. That elsewhere is likely home. The pay is never why people do these things. That I'm talented at it, or enjoy it, those reasons aren't really good enough either. What if all the effort I invested into wrestling was systematically invested in Christi and the boys? I would have to make sure that it wasn't wasted, because there is a temptation there, but I think I could make a more significant difference with them. 

The truth is, Joseph Sr. and Martin Harris were both on the brink of something big at 45 - life changing even. Is there something like that in the cards for me? I'm not sure. There are a number of things about my life that I don't want to change, there are also many that could be improved though. For both of these 45 year olds drawing closer to God than they'd ever been before was important. For both, aligning themselves with God's work even at great personal sacrifice was essential. For both hearing God's voice through His prophet and following through with diligence was crucial.

Section 4 of the Doctrine and Covenants is a revelation for Joseph Sr., section 5 (3 and 10 too really) is a revelation for Martin Harris. Both are invited to play specific roles in the work. I always found it interesting that the scripture missionaries recite most (sec. 4) was given to someone who didn't leave his family to serve a full-time mission. He didn't go abroad to teach, but was to share the message with friends and neighbors. So I approached the sister missionaries after they spoke in our sacrament meeting today and asked if they could come teach us how to be better member missionaries. They're coming on Thursday. Do you have any suggestions in the mean time? 

Martin is a fixed on his desire to be a witness of the plates. It is an inspired desire for sure, but one he really has to stretch for. From pressures within his own family circle come things like the loss of the 116 pages, the ransacking of Joseph's house, and even lawsuits. His pursuit of this desire however may be his saving grace. The blessing of that witness and his firmness in his testimony of it changes his trajectory significantly. What stretching things does the Lord have in store for me? For this 45 year old? While I wait for these questions to be answered, I think I'll work on that three part list above. 

I've started on my third time through the conference messages this week. As I study, I'm going to try to channel Joseph Sr. in my obedience. I want to be a useful tool in the Lord's hands, and I'm sure he'll help direct my efforts as I hold closer to Him and His word through His prophets.