When Christi suffers a spasm as a result of her condition, certain muscle groups contract with all their might. For her it is the hamstrings, glutes, adductors, the back of the shoulders, the triceps and the back and left side of the neck. These spasms cause those specific muscles to grow disproportionately strong, and also painful. Not only do they pull the body out of postures of natural musculoskeletal balance, these muscle groups are flooded with lactic acid after a spasm, and each subsequent one then is accompanied by an intense ache. As I struggle to keep her in the proper positions, I got to thinking, what if I am the same way spiritually speaking to God? He watches as I position myself for pain and lovingly molds and corrects my course over and over again to help me avoid the pains for which I am certainly destined without His intervention.
The difference however is choice. Christi's spasms are involuntary, she literally hasn't got the ability to keep herself out of such spasms, such painful positions. There are things I can do, however, to help her though - and that's where the pillows and music come in. Currently she is carefully positioned on 7 pillows with music playing. The pillows, 4 under her propped up legs and then 1 each under the head and either arm. Her muscles stay better in an extended position that way and the music, it helps to calm her.
My painful positions on the other hand, are a result of my choices. Choice of thought, choice of words. Yet he gently guides and shapes me still. He responds when I cry out. What If I couldn't choose though? What if I, like Christi in her current temporary physical situation, was unable to keep myself from pain and suffering because of spiritually damaging and painful positions? Isn't this the experience Nephi's brother Jacob described:
"...if the flesh should rise no more our spirits must become subject to that angel who fell from before the presence of the Eternal God, and became the devil, to rise no more.
"And our spirits must have become like unto him, and we become devils, angels to a devil, to be shut out from the presence of our God, and to remain with the father of lies, in misery, like unto himself; yea, to that being who beguiled our first parents, who transformeth himself nigh unto an angel of light, and stirreth up the children of men unto secret combinations of murder and all manner of secret works of darkness." (2 Nephi 9:8-9)
Jesus Christ suffered died and rose again on the third day to provide us choice and beacause He has, we may choose Him and exaltation through Him. Had he not risen triumphant from the tomb we would have no hope.
I am confident that there will be a resolution to Christi's current difficulty with spasms, and I think we are well on the way there now. She will be free from this pain also in eternity - because He rose.
Let only my resolution be as firm! That because He rose offering me the better choice, that I will take it.
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