Joseph Smith Sr. was 45 when his Vermont farm failed. That's my age. As the provider for his large family (9 kids), I'm sure it weighted heavily on him. The circumstances weren't even in his control. Mt. Tambora in Indonesia had erupted with such force on the other side of the world that it caused "the year without a summer." Midsummer frosts doomed many crops worldwide. To save his family, the Smiths picked up and moved.
Martin Harris was a different story. By the time he was 45 he had amassed over 300 acres of farmland. He was well enough off to take time off for travel. The Lord put him close to the prophet Joseph too. His relationship with his wife was a little rocky, but maybe the money had kept problems from coming to the surface for awhile. I heard a political pundit claim in November that Kamilla Harris' campaign may have suffered from her fundraising success. Money tends to insulate businesses and organizations from recognizing problems until they become larger and maybe out of control. The same might be true for individuals and families too.
Sorry, forgot to ask. Is now a good time for a midlife crisis? I'm not sure I know exactly what that feels like, but every now and then when I feel restless or without much traction I wonder...
I came home on Saturday from the wrestling tournament feeling impotent. Four coaches at the arena was good for the one time we had four matches going at once, but otherwise I was just another guy making noise in the corner. Some of the wrestlers are starting to make some real progress. That's exciting, but likely not a direct result of my efforts. As effective and useful as I try to be, I have a growing feeling that I would be making a greater difference elsewhere. That elsewhere is likely home. The pay is never why people do these things. That I'm talented at it, or enjoy it, those reasons aren't really good enough either. What if all the effort I invested into wrestling was systematically invested in Christi and the boys? I would have to make sure that it wasn't wasted, because there is a temptation there, but I think I could make a more significant difference with them.
The truth is, Joseph Sr. and Martin Harris were both on the brink of something big at 45 - life changing even. Is there something like that in the cards for me? I'm not sure. There are a number of things about my life that I don't want to change, there are also many that could be improved though. For both of these 45 year olds drawing closer to God than they'd ever been before was important. For both, aligning themselves with God's work even at great personal sacrifice was essential. For both hearing God's voice through His prophet and following through with diligence was crucial.
Section 4 of the Doctrine and Covenants is a revelation for Joseph Sr., section 5 (3 and 10 too really) is a revelation for Martin Harris. Both are invited to play specific roles in the work. I always found it interesting that the scripture missionaries recite most (sec. 4) was given to someone who didn't leave his family to serve a full-time mission. He didn't go abroad to teach, but was to share the message with friends and neighbors. So I approached the sister missionaries after they spoke in our sacrament meeting today and asked if they could come teach us how to be better member missionaries. They're coming on Thursday. Do you have any suggestions in the mean time?
Martin is a fixed on his desire to be a witness of the plates. It is an inspired desire for sure, but one he really has to stretch for. From pressures within his own family circle come things like the loss of the 116 pages, the ransacking of Joseph's house, and even lawsuits. His pursuit of this desire however may be his saving grace. The blessing of that witness and his firmness in his testimony of it changes his trajectory significantly. What stretching things does the Lord have in store for me? For this 45 year old? While I wait for these questions to be answered, I think I'll work on that three part list above.
I've started on my third time through the conference messages this week. As I study, I'm going to try to channel Joseph Sr. in my obedience. I want to be a useful tool in the Lord's hands, and I'm sure he'll help direct my efforts as I hold closer to Him and His word through His prophets.
