Healing along the way

Yesterday while watching Emma's soccer game, I got a call from Deana. She told me that Christi had not been doing well all day. She had a fever of around 102-103 degrees and her heart rate had been elevated betwen 120-145 bpm. This is no good, I thought, Christi doesn't get fevers until it's serious. They have been so infrequent, in fact, that in the past a fever that we couldn't control was often times the last straw that convinced us to take her to the hospital. Hospitals have become last resorts for us that have seemed to grow increasingly distant as we felt comfortable with more and more of the difficulties that may arise.
Deana said it was time to go now. So I left the game, packed for the hospital and loaded Christi up. I agreed with her too. Christi was clearly hot and in pain.

On the drive, the weight of the situation started to settle in. In 2017, on the heels of 3 consecutive hospital stays - each of which lasted for about a week- all of Christi's doctors had pulled Deana and I into a conference room. Each specialist gave their assessment of Christi's situation before her primary coordinating doctor got to the point: "Christi is in decline... We don't know if it will be two weeks, two months, or two years, but we believe she is in decline." This was the bombshell. All eyes turned to us as they awaited our response. They had obviously handled many of these types of situations before. Perhaps without the emotion they expected, we checked for agreement with the specialists. They did agree, and talked to us about resuscitation orders and end of life care.

That day we felt bouyed up despite their conclusions. We told them we disagreed. We felt she wasn't in decline just dealing with some things we felt we could figure out and ultimately get through. Long story short - Christi started getting better. It wasn't until October 2019 that we were back in the hospital with Christi. Then again, ...and again. Finally in January 2020 She was in with a UTI and an unkown respiratory infection (COVID?). Now, here we were on our way to the hospital again. This time I was strangely scared -- could this be it?! They had said "decline" and now, in the midst of a pandemic that threatens the compromised... Then it came, as I prayed and sang to her, the calm and quiet assurance - ironically echoing my own voice as I had reasured others in the past: He has always been there for me - helping me in ways that couldn't be predicted or even recognized by others looking on - I needed them this time. Peace followed quickly as those words found lodging in my soul.

By the time they tested Christi for admission to the hospital, her temp was 98.6 and pulse at 114. They brought us back into the ER on my word and brought doctors and nurses by. Before we were discharged a couple hours later, she was sleeping peacefully - her heartrate just mildly elevated at 96 bpm.
I felt initially a little sheepish about bringing her in - had we overreacted? been too hasty? Had her thermometer at home malfunctioned?

The lesson I had been teaching the last couple of days in seminary came gradually to mind. The rising generation had been declining in faith after being witnesses to incredible signs and wonders. They "began to forget those signs and wonders which they had heard, and began to be less and less astonished at a sign or wonder from heaven...imagining up some vain thing in their hearts, that it was wrought by men and by the power of the devil, to lead away and deceive the hearts of the people; and thus did Satan get posession of the hearts of the people" (3 Nephi 2:1-2). Had I been searching for a reason to be less astonished? That she had recovered significantly in the car ride was certainly unprecedented for us and unexpected.

This wasn't an errant thermometer, or an overreaction on our part - all of the signs we had trusted before were there. I had felt her hot forehead myself. I had seen her discomfort and high heart rate. Deana had seen and experienced even more over the last few days. Now Christi slept in peace. As I loaded her in the car she awoke and I joked with her drawing further encouragement from the the laugh and smile on her lips. I recognized that the same smile and laugh had been there when we had arrived too. She must have been relieved and comforted along the way. Me too. We drove home in gratitude to testify again of His overwhelming goodness to us and of the reality of answered prayers. I stand all amazed. May it always be amazing and astonishing to me - and may I never forget.

Essential

Applied personally, this label meant you stayed on the job while others tried out working from home or were furloughed when the COVID -19 pandemic hit. Applied to activities, it involved a decision making process for individuals, families, and communities to determine what was worth leaving the relative safety of home and entering a public and possibly infected place for. That decision, that spotlighted choice, turns out to be much more important than many of us would have supposed.

The Second Coming of Jesus Christ to the earth is going to be much different than the first. The silent night and the tender babe of centuries past will be contrasted by a prelude of destructions and a magnificent public and glorious descent from heaven. Scripturally, however, it will catch many people unprepared. Likened to a thief in the night, many will be simply unaware until it is too late. The chilling arithmetic of the parable of the ten virgins leaves half of even those invited to attend the grand occasion - woefully underprepared, frantic, and ultimately shut out of where they desperately want to be.

As a young seminary teacher observing summer vacation scripture reading habits, I used to joke that to catch people unprepared the Second Coming was likely to happen in the three months seminary wasn’t held. The daily reading of the text for the course was carefully watched and reinforced there. Summer seemed to be a time when many took a break. It was probably more a result of the significantly changed structure of many schedules during those months than seminary or anything else though. When structure changes significantly we make important personal, familial, and societal decisions, consciously or not, about what is essential and what will be left behind. Being conscious of and deliberate about such makes an immense an eternal difference.

Elder Bednar spoke In the last two months to a religious freedom forum about the powerful wake-up call that this crisis should be for us. And while his words certainly have governmental and societal implications, the familial and personal wake-up call seemed of primary importance to me. Blessed to live in a land with a government by, for, and of the people, how can we expect our them to place higher value on spiritual essentials than we ourselves do. Am I awake to the absolute essential nature of communing with my Father in Heaven meaningfully and regularly? Do I esteem the value of family gospel teaching and study as non-negotiable? 

I’m convinced that this wake-up call comes from a loving Father who desires for each of his children to be as well prepared as they can be for the Second Coming of His Son — and for whatever might come between now and then.  

like Sukkot

Footnote b for Mosiah 4:2 takes you to a reference in Nehemiah where the Jews are celebrating Sukkot, the Feast of Tabernacles. To celebrate, temporary booths were erected wherein jews would stay for the week of the festival. They did so to commemorate their forefathers journey out of bondage in Egypt, through the wilderness, and to the promised land. Their booths represented the tents of the ancients. Humble dwellings of a wandering people before they were blessed to inherit the promised land. Could it be that Benjamins people came up in their tents for the same purpose, perhaps not only in commemoration of their ancient ancestors exodus from Egypt, but also how father Lehi "dwelt in a tent" as he left comforts behind to follow the Lord to another land of promise. In any case, the Israelite descendants King Benjamin ruled gathered in tents as separate family units instead of as a congregation to hear his words. In like manner, for this last general conference, the Saints gathered in their homes to hear the words of prophets. Sukkot is also called the Feast of Ingathering, celebrating the harvest season. President Nelson, the same who enlisted us all to the cause of gathering Israel issued a historic proclamation of the restoration. What a historic occasion indeed! Even while we're apart, it is a time for gathering - how can I do my part to engage in this wonderful work?    

"As current as the morning paper"

President Hinckley once said stated "the Book of Mormon is as current as the morning paper." That's quite a statement both about the book and about how President Hinckley reads it. In my recent readings I have found another piece of evidence that validates that truth for me.
King Benjamin called his people to gather to the temple to hear his final address. Today I read in chapter four about the way his people had fallen to the earth having "viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth."
Self-esteem has to do with the way you see yourself. How do I see me? How does He want me to see me? D&C 18 reminds me - "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" and explains how the Savior suffered and died - for us. We are bought with a price - and oh what a price. Yet they viewed themselves here, in their carnal state, in a very humble way
In this view of themselves the Nephites all cry out together "with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ". This reminds me of another couple places in scripture where a similar cry was heard. In 3 Nephi 11, the Savior, visited the American continent after His resurrection. After personally feeling the wounds in his hands, feet and side, the people "cry out with one accord, saying: Hosanna!" which in Hebrew means: "save us now!" another united plea for salvation. The other was Palm Sunday. We also joined in a united plea - first in General Conference we shouted "Hosanna!" together and then on good Friday our voices were raised together in prayer and fasting. I've long liked the easy likeness King Benjamin's address bears to General Conference. Their cry and ours now seemed to pull us even closer together. What a great time to be studying King Benjamin's discourse and the experience of his people in the wake of our own similar experience. As a result of his teaching and his people's heartfelt plea for salvation, they experience a mighty change in their hearts and lose the disposition to do evil. Has my opportunity in this present similar moment ignited such earnestness in me? Has it also purified my disposition? The people, in Lehi's dream, who stay at the tree are those that fall down at it. King Benjamin's people, and the Nephites in 3 Nephi all fall down. "If they humble themselves before me," the Savior said, "and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27)