Tight

We try to be good, attentive, and competent parents to our sweet little angel.  We talk about, think about, and fast and pray about what to do for her a lot.  We have tried dozens of things with different outcomes - mostly unsuccessful though.
For the last month or two Christi has been in more and more pain.  Lately she had also been vomiting nearly every time she was fed.  This has been no small source of anxiety.  Deana has made trip after trip to Phoenix to try to determine what was going on.  We have been to the emergency room locally with not much help either - its not their fault they just don't have the pediatric specialists available to meet Christi's needs. So after much discussion and prayer we decided on Wednesday, the 25th of February, to pack up and drive her down to Phoenix to go through the ER.  It was the only way we could get the tests done that she needed without having to schedule them a month out.  We couldn't stand by and watch her suffer anymore.  We were desperate for answers.  So we drove 3 hours to Phoenix Children's Hospital, then waited 4 hours in line and in the waiting room to be seen. Half a dozen tests later we still had no answers.  Then the right person got involved.
This wonderful doctor, and immigrant from Poland, came in to visit Christi.  It took her 10 minutes of visiting with me and Christi to determine what was going on!  After months of searching there was finally and end in sight, a period to end this sentence. We were finally getting answers!
Come to find out, Christi had been having distonic spasms - a hundred or more every day.  She would cry out in pain, arch her back and neck (her neck was the worst) and stiffen her legs.  These were all involuntary, like muscle cramps, they were very painful and were a result of her brain injury from this summer.  It still breaks my heart to think of the pain that she had been in day in and day out.
The solution involved medication, but this angel of a doctor also taught me some behavioral interventions. She said that in Poland there are a number of people walking around with  undiagnosed distonia.  In order to keep it in check they walk around with their arms folded in front of them.  This keeps them from stiffening up, she said.  If you fold Chirsti' arms it may help her break through the pain.  Hmm.  I remarked that I had noticed that stretching Christi's neck forward had given her some relief as well as crossing her legs. "Exactly," she said.  Those are the other two things that a person can do to stop the spasm and break up the tension in the muscles - bow the head and bend the legs.  Not only was this great and welcome news to me, but also to my wife.  Then the question came to me that the Lord had been answering all along, "Why do we pray that way?"
Its a good question, and I had been perhaps to light with my answers to it in the past.  I have told my children things like it keeps them from poking each other and helps them focus - both of which are true answers, but not complete ones.  For Chirsti that position allows her to release the tension that causes her pain.  It is her letting go, and it helps her let go.  And there is the lesson for me.  As we have struggled, as all of us struggle to make our way through difficult things - to quote a hymn, "there is an hour of peace and rest," and it comes when I find my knees fold my arms and bow my head before my God and let go of my tensions, stresses, and worries.  It has been my experience that He will take them up - every time. No wonder he pleads with us in the scriptures over and over to "Ask," "seek," and "counsel" with Him. "And since He bids me seek His face, believe His words and trust His grace, I'll cast on Him my every care and wait for thee  sweet hour of prayer." Alma had it right, all things do bear witness of Him.  What a perfect and powerful gift prayer is.