Can I?

There are times in a person's life when things open up: when a person turns 18, when communities resume business in the wake of a global pandemic, or more simply - raises, career changes, and even summer vacations all provide a variety of new opportunities. 

With all of these choices, there is a foundational decision to be made. Will I choose to live intentionally or accidentally? Living intentionally instead of accidentally means "because I can" is not a sufficient reason. Because our decisions determine our destiny it is best to make them with our desired outcome in mind. 

When turning 18, at the gates of adulthood, rules that defined what someone can do may seem to disappear or be challenged. In order to make wise decisions ask why such rules existed in the first place. If not correctly understood painful consequences may result. 

Curfew is a good example - most emerging adults come from a history of weeknight and weekend bedtimes. Why would parents impose such a rule? The answer might be have to do with the effects of fatigue on decision making abilities, school, job performance, and relationships. Thrown thoughtlessly out the window, failing out of school, being fired from jobs, and late night regrettable decisions with lasting consequences may be included in the tragic results. Because of youth, the consequences might not be evident at first. No large explosions at first may feed a false sense of security, but things may begin to quietly deteriorate. With so many heavy things weighing upon them - all possibly stemming from one primary decision - a young person may be convinced that that world is a hard and heartless place that they aren't fully suited for - or at least not for excellence in it. They might decide to take a back seat, forgo post high school education, enter the workforce in a poor paying labor-intensive job, and start a family before they have really begun to think seriously about what that entails. Once you know the reasons questions like: "Do I believe them?" and "Am I willing to risk as much as being wrong require, or should I at least put it to the test first?"

On the other hand, a young person who chooses to believe, or learns through their own lower stakes experimentation, may find that through disciplined adherence to their own standards they are able to achieve impressive degrees, well paying jobs, and a much more approachable view of the world. Maybe what one can or can't do is not as important a question as "What should you do (in this situation) to achieve the future you desire ?" or even "What do I really believe?" 

What I do today simply "because I can" will certainly affect and perhaps significantly curtail what I can do in the future. Those things of most worth often come at great cost over time. Sports often serve as a great metaphor. That which I will do today and tomorrow will open the door -- or the "can" of opportunities tomorrow :) 

What will you do today and tomorrow and the next day so that you can enjoy next week or next year?

         

He Gathers

 "And verily, verily, I say unto you, that this church have I established and called forth out of the wilderness" (D&C 33:5)

Jesus Christ established His Church, not Joseph Smith. I imagine Joseph would likely be the first to clarify this important fact. Over and over again His miraculous hand was manifest in preserving the plates, protecting the prophet, restoring priesthood authority, etc. etc.. Sometimes we may yearn for those days when heaven was so visibly and dramatically involved in the work. It has been said that angelic visitations and the signs and wonders that seemed so prevalent in those early days were necessary to that period to establish the Church. Maybe so. Then the next verse:

"And even so will I gather mine elect from the four quarters of the earth, even as many as will believe in me, and hearken to my voice." (D&C 33:6)

"Even so" - the same miraculous way - does He gather. 

The Old Testament prophet Jeremiah wrote concerning a miraculous future gathering saying: "Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the ​​Lord​​, that it shall no more be said, The ​​​​​Lord​​​ liveth, that brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt; ​But, The ​​Lord​​ liveth, that ​​​brought up​ the children of Israel from the land of the ​​​north​, and from all the ​​​lands​ whither he had driven them: and I will ​​​bring​ them again into their ​​​land​ that I gave unto their fathers." (Jeremiah 16:14-15) 

Whereas the parting of the Red Sea and the deliverance of children of Israel from Egypt through it had been the signature display of the Lord's hand and power for centuries, the gathering would eclipse even that.

Those that will "believe in [Him]" (let God prevail in their lives), and "hearken to [His] voice" (hear Him) will be gathered. 

"Yea, behold, I will ​​​tell​ you in your mind and in your ​​​heart​, by the ​​​Holy Ghost​, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation; behold, this is the spirit by which Moses ​​​brought​ the children of Israel through the Red Sea on dry ground." (D&C 8:2-3)

Aren't we are living the fulfillment of this prophecy right now? Our beloved prophet has invited us to join the Lord's battalion to gather Israel. He has defined Israel as those who let God prevail in their lives, and put repeated emphasis on growing our ability to #HearHim. 

Sometimes we still want to respond tentatively though - it can be an intimidating prospect to share the gospel with others... just like it was intimidating for Joseph and for Moses. But the work is not ours to accomplish alone "Even so will I gather mine elect" He says though, In the same miraculous manner. He invites us to be a part of this most important thing happening on the face of the earth and be first person witnesses to His mighty power - as HE gathers Israel. What an opportunity! 

Healing along the way

Yesterday while watching Emma's soccer game, I got a call from Deana. She told me that Christi had not been doing well all day. She had a fever of around 102-103 degrees and her heart rate had been elevated betwen 120-145 bpm. This is no good, I thought, Christi doesn't get fevers until it's serious. They have been so infrequent, in fact, that in the past a fever that we couldn't control was often times the last straw that convinced us to take her to the hospital. Hospitals have become last resorts for us that have seemed to grow increasingly distant as we felt comfortable with more and more of the difficulties that may arise.
Deana said it was time to go now. So I left the game, packed for the hospital and loaded Christi up. I agreed with her too. Christi was clearly hot and in pain.

On the drive, the weight of the situation started to settle in. In 2017, on the heels of 3 consecutive hospital stays - each of which lasted for about a week- all of Christi's doctors had pulled Deana and I into a conference room. Each specialist gave their assessment of Christi's situation before her primary coordinating doctor got to the point: "Christi is in decline... We don't know if it will be two weeks, two months, or two years, but we believe she is in decline." This was the bombshell. All eyes turned to us as they awaited our response. They had obviously handled many of these types of situations before. Perhaps without the emotion they expected, we checked for agreement with the specialists. They did agree, and talked to us about resuscitation orders and end of life care.

That day we felt bouyed up despite their conclusions. We told them we disagreed. We felt she wasn't in decline just dealing with some things we felt we could figure out and ultimately get through. Long story short - Christi started getting better. It wasn't until October 2019 that we were back in the hospital with Christi. Then again, ...and again. Finally in January 2020 She was in with a UTI and an unkown respiratory infection (COVID?). Now, here we were on our way to the hospital again. This time I was strangely scared -- could this be it?! They had said "decline" and now, in the midst of a pandemic that threatens the compromised... Then it came, as I prayed and sang to her, the calm and quiet assurance - ironically echoing my own voice as I had reasured others in the past: He has always been there for me - helping me in ways that couldn't be predicted or even recognized by others looking on - I needed them this time. Peace followed quickly as those words found lodging in my soul.

By the time they tested Christi for admission to the hospital, her temp was 98.6 and pulse at 114. They brought us back into the ER on my word and brought doctors and nurses by. Before we were discharged a couple hours later, she was sleeping peacefully - her heartrate just mildly elevated at 96 bpm.
I felt initially a little sheepish about bringing her in - had we overreacted? been too hasty? Had her thermometer at home malfunctioned?

The lesson I had been teaching the last couple of days in seminary came gradually to mind. The rising generation had been declining in faith after being witnesses to incredible signs and wonders. They "began to forget those signs and wonders which they had heard, and began to be less and less astonished at a sign or wonder from heaven...imagining up some vain thing in their hearts, that it was wrought by men and by the power of the devil, to lead away and deceive the hearts of the people; and thus did Satan get posession of the hearts of the people" (3 Nephi 2:1-2). Had I been searching for a reason to be less astonished? That she had recovered significantly in the car ride was certainly unprecedented for us and unexpected.

This wasn't an errant thermometer, or an overreaction on our part - all of the signs we had trusted before were there. I had felt her hot forehead myself. I had seen her discomfort and high heart rate. Deana had seen and experienced even more over the last few days. Now Christi slept in peace. As I loaded her in the car she awoke and I joked with her drawing further encouragement from the the laugh and smile on her lips. I recognized that the same smile and laugh had been there when we had arrived too. She must have been relieved and comforted along the way. Me too. We drove home in gratitude to testify again of His overwhelming goodness to us and of the reality of answered prayers. I stand all amazed. May it always be amazing and astonishing to me - and may I never forget.

Essential

Applied personally, this label meant you stayed on the job while others tried out working from home or were furloughed when the COVID -19 pandemic hit. Applied to activities, it involved a decision making process for individuals, families, and communities to determine what was worth leaving the relative safety of home and entering a public and possibly infected place for. That decision, that spotlighted choice, turns out to be much more important than many of us would have supposed.

The Second Coming of Jesus Christ to the earth is going to be much different than the first. The silent night and the tender babe of centuries past will be contrasted by a prelude of destructions and a magnificent public and glorious descent from heaven. Scripturally, however, it will catch many people unprepared. Likened to a thief in the night, many will be simply unaware until it is too late. The chilling arithmetic of the parable of the ten virgins leaves half of even those invited to attend the grand occasion - woefully underprepared, frantic, and ultimately shut out of where they desperately want to be.

As a young seminary teacher observing summer vacation scripture reading habits, I used to joke that to catch people unprepared the Second Coming was likely to happen in the three months seminary wasn’t held. The daily reading of the text for the course was carefully watched and reinforced there. Summer seemed to be a time when many took a break. It was probably more a result of the significantly changed structure of many schedules during those months than seminary or anything else though. When structure changes significantly we make important personal, familial, and societal decisions, consciously or not, about what is essential and what will be left behind. Being conscious of and deliberate about such makes an immense an eternal difference.

Elder Bednar spoke In the last two months to a religious freedom forum about the powerful wake-up call that this crisis should be for us. And while his words certainly have governmental and societal implications, the familial and personal wake-up call seemed of primary importance to me. Blessed to live in a land with a government by, for, and of the people, how can we expect our them to place higher value on spiritual essentials than we ourselves do. Am I awake to the absolute essential nature of communing with my Father in Heaven meaningfully and regularly? Do I esteem the value of family gospel teaching and study as non-negotiable? 

I’m convinced that this wake-up call comes from a loving Father who desires for each of his children to be as well prepared as they can be for the Second Coming of His Son — and for whatever might come between now and then.  

like Sukkot

Footnote b for Mosiah 4:2 takes you to a reference in Nehemiah where the Jews are celebrating Sukkot, the Feast of Tabernacles. To celebrate, temporary booths were erected wherein jews would stay for the week of the festival. They did so to commemorate their forefathers journey out of bondage in Egypt, through the wilderness, and to the promised land. Their booths represented the tents of the ancients. Humble dwellings of a wandering people before they were blessed to inherit the promised land. Could it be that Benjamins people came up in their tents for the same purpose, perhaps not only in commemoration of their ancient ancestors exodus from Egypt, but also how father Lehi "dwelt in a tent" as he left comforts behind to follow the Lord to another land of promise. In any case, the Israelite descendants King Benjamin ruled gathered in tents as separate family units instead of as a congregation to hear his words. In like manner, for this last general conference, the Saints gathered in their homes to hear the words of prophets. Sukkot is also called the Feast of Ingathering, celebrating the harvest season. President Nelson, the same who enlisted us all to the cause of gathering Israel issued a historic proclamation of the restoration. What a historic occasion indeed! Even while we're apart, it is a time for gathering - how can I do my part to engage in this wonderful work?    

"As current as the morning paper"

President Hinckley once said stated "the Book of Mormon is as current as the morning paper." That's quite a statement both about the book and about how President Hinckley reads it. In my recent readings I have found another piece of evidence that validates that truth for me.
King Benjamin called his people to gather to the temple to hear his final address. Today I read in chapter four about the way his people had fallen to the earth having "viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth."
Self-esteem has to do with the way you see yourself. How do I see me? How does He want me to see me? D&C 18 reminds me - "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" and explains how the Savior suffered and died - for us. We are bought with a price - and oh what a price. Yet they viewed themselves here, in their carnal state, in a very humble way
In this view of themselves the Nephites all cry out together "with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ". This reminds me of another couple places in scripture where a similar cry was heard. In 3 Nephi 11, the Savior, visited the American continent after His resurrection. After personally feeling the wounds in his hands, feet and side, the people "cry out with one accord, saying: Hosanna!" which in Hebrew means: "save us now!" another united plea for salvation. The other was Palm Sunday. We also joined in a united plea - first in General Conference we shouted "Hosanna!" together and then on good Friday our voices were raised together in prayer and fasting. I've long liked the easy likeness King Benjamin's address bears to General Conference. Their cry and ours now seemed to pull us even closer together. What a great time to be studying King Benjamin's discourse and the experience of his people in the wake of our own similar experience. As a result of his teaching and his people's heartfelt plea for salvation, they experience a mighty change in their hearts and lose the disposition to do evil. Has my opportunity in this present similar moment ignited such earnestness in me? Has it also purified my disposition? The people, in Lehi's dream, who stay at the tree are those that fall down at it. King Benjamin's people, and the Nephites in 3 Nephi all fall down. "If they humble themselves before me," the Savior said, "and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27)      

Epistemology and my journal

I have not been very consistent in my journal writing in the past. What I have been regular at, however, is picking it up again after quitting for a time. I’m guessing I’m not alone in this. Some of my earliest journal entries bear highlights like sitting in the same pew as one of the larger men in the ward on Sunday, or being allowed to choose and name the new fish for our fish tank. Brother Corpany might have chuckled if he had read my entry for that day, and Zekey Z. Z. Z. (The fish) probably cared much more about how often I would be feeding her (I think I recall finding out that ol’ Zekey was a girl sometime later  -- a discovery that did not make it into my journal). 

Initially at least, when I looked back on and reread those entries, I was really embarrassed.  I was so juvenile in my thoughts, so distracted by my own handwriting or dramatic expressions. It was hard not to discount my underdeveloped self with all of my emotions, values, etc..

I got to thinking about this emotion as I wondered about crises of faith. They are generally of two sorts - from what I have heard. The first sort arises from  historical, doctrinal, or topical questions or concerns. The second type is epistemological though - having to do with the very definition of truth and how it is to be known. Elder Holland counseled those facing questions regarding things they do not know to “hold fast to the ground you have already won” and wait for additional knowledge to come. Essentially, remember the things that you have been given answers to in the face of the questions that still remain. Sometimes, however, is it possible that our questions may begin to be epistemological as we look back? If we look back at our past selves with embarrassment, criticism, or contempt we may feel like whatever we may have felt at that time was equally juvenile, and somehow not valid. Because the Lord “speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding.” As that understanding changes over time, we may be tempted to discount the promptings of the past. This would be a sad mistake. The simplicity of my childhood testimony and the fire of my missionary zeal were as real a spiritual communication as any I received yesterday or today. May God grant us the wisdom to see that while the past is definitely different, it is not less real