Humility

I imagine a circle - one gigantic circle, big enough to represent all that God knows. All of it. Then I imagine another, much smaller circle. This one represents all the knowledge that mankind has amassed. Think of the comparison between the two - what does it really look like? How big do I believe the difference is really?
In first chapter of the book of Moses, the prophet of the exodus is shown "the earth, yea, even all of it; and there was not a particle of it which he did not behold, discerning it," the scriptures say, "by the Spirit of God." To understate it greatly - That must have been an absolutely mind blowing vision!  That was not all though. He beheld next, the inhabitants of earth, "and there was not a soul which he beheld not; and he discerned them by the Spirit of God;" So that's all of them, right?! Whenever they would inhabit the planet --  It's amazing to me to consider that Moses saw me... and my grandchildren...as well as my great great grandparents. It certainly must have been a humbling experience for him. Then, if I am reading the next verse right, Moses saw many earths with their inhabitants. This could be discussed for ages I suppose, and from all sorts of angles too. My point is simple though - the sheer scope of God's creations in relation to what Moses was familiar with was absolutely astonishing, humbling, and frankly beyond the ability of words to capture. Then comes the thought - If that kind of gap exists between the man's knowledge of God's physical creations and the full scope of them - what gap might exist in the realm of the spiritual or intellectual? Do we suppose that we are more familiar with the the spiritual and intellectual realm than we are then with the physical? If Moses' astonishment at seeing the vast extent of the physical creations of God causes enough humility for him to conclude that man is nothing [by comparison], then couldn't we show more intellectual humility? More deference to revelation? Trust more in His word even before we understand it completely?
Moses is familiar with the grandeur and power of the works of man in the word he lived in. His upbringing in the courts of Pharoah in arguably the most powerful nation on the earth at the time could really have convinced him that man was something - no dice though, not even a little bit after this vision. I want to be more like Moses, less enamored with the physical, intellectual, or spiritual creations of man. I want to open my eyes in humility and live more in reverent awe.

Listen together

Someone wise once said that the Church is less like a museum for Saints, and more like a hospital for sinners. I think the saying was meant to realign the expectations of the offended, but it's a good reminder to us all.  We’ve been in two actual hospitals for the last few weeks.  Maybe I can learn some things about the Church from our recent stay at Primary Children's. 

To make a longer story short, we are in the hospital because when we went in to get Chirsti's broken femur re-plated and casted (the first plate and screws didn't hold) they found that her blood levels of phosphate were dangerously low. This had caused her bones to be week and not heal, and for her to have kidney stones from all the Calcium that was being pushed into her urine instead of being used to build bone. They put her on massive doses of phosphorus and Calcium to try to build her back up to normal levels. Her body was using it almost faster than they could get it in her though, and they were constantly chasing those levels, in what they called a rare case of "hungry bone syndrome." After two and a half weeks now her levels have stabilized, and they are starting to talk about sending her home this week. In the mean time, her femur broke again (while inside the cast) and we discovered two broken ribs and a broken clavicle as well. One of us has been staying with her around the clock (mostly me because my sweet wife has so much trouble sleeping in the hospital) so we will be excited to sleep in our own beds and be together as a family again soon. 

In the midst of all of this, one of our comforts has been the Ronald McDonald room at Primary Children's Hospital. They may not be the best at burgers, but my hat will always be off to them for the compassion of these rooms. There parents and family members there at the hospital can do laundry, take a shower, reserve a room for a nap or overnight stay, and, best of all, come together for a hot meal put on by families and businesses in the community.  Getting together with other parents and talking about our situations has been such a great blessing to us. We have talked about the gospel, about life, about doctors, nurses, and hospitals, and in all just generally about the soul. I have watched a blind mother sit in silence as she worries about the health of her newborn baby. I have listened to her express her faith in "things which are not seen but are true. I have visited with a woman so full of tattoos and piercings that it is genuinely and profoundly distracting from who she really is. We talked about judgement, kindness, about how the bullying of her son has potentially contributed to his medical condition, and about prayer. There is healing in togetherness. 

I've noticed that people seem to blossom out of the cacoon of their own situation and problems as they interact, share, and speak with others. The callous caused by the impact of their struggles falls away softly and beautiful souls emerge. I think this is what Church is meant to be like in a way too. The Lord commands in the opening verse of the first section of the Doctrine nad Covenants that His Church "listen together." Interestingly, the Lord doesn't say "talk together," but rather, "listen." 

Elder Bednar, speaking of ward councils in a training in 2010, said, "I think we have the mistaken notion that every element of revelation coming to the ward has to come through the bishop. By virtue of his keys, he has to acknowledge it and affirm it, but he doesn’t necessarily have to be the only vehicle through whom it comes. So in that council, as you have that spirit of unity and act under the influence of the Spirit, the contributions of all of the council members add elements to the inspiration. So the council doesn't decide...It is an inspired pattern that the bishop, by virtue of the keys, has to direct. But he doesn't have to receive every jot and tittle of the revelation." "Revelation is scattered among us" Elder Anderson also taught. I know it might be a stretch of these principles, but I feel like the Lord speaks best to us often when we speak with each other - or more specifically as we listen.

So there I was sitting in Church today feeling burdened with financial matters, with Chirsti's health, with deadlines and difficulties. Gratefully I was rescued from my low state by a simple prompting. The message was this "listen to people. Get to know the people in your ward one at a time. Find out who they really are, and the beautiful things that are hidden within them." Although the inspiration came right at the end of the third hour of our meetings I immediately had two different ward members to listen to. One told me of his younger brothers, one waiting for a kidney, and the other diagnosed with cancer and being worn down from long sufferings with chemotherapy. He also mentioned that he is a twin and shares what he believes to be a special spiritual bond with his twin. Then another sister approached me and told me about her brother, 18 months her junior, who suffers with cerebral palsy similarly to Christi. I know (from facebook) that this good sister has had trouble having children and they recently had hoped to have adopted a baby from Arizona, but it fell through. I felt immediately lifted and liberated from my burdens as I listened, but more than that I felt a sacred type of kinship with these my brothers and sisters. I am humbled, and having emerged a bit from my shell, I'm very excited about the opportunities I have to "listen together." I'm sure what I heard in their voices today was nothing less than the great sustaining comfort of the very Spirit of God. I couldn't help but wonder how to best express that to people wondering why they should go to the trouble of getting ready for and attending Church meetings. I'm going to try :)

Stinky Sunday!

Hefting Christi into her carseat I caught a whiff of it again. -- But it couldn't be her, we had just checked.  After setting her down in her seat though I turned around and there it was - a big dry cleaning bill. Perfect timing too -- we had just been hurrying out the odor, I mean door,  trying to get to church before sacrament meeting started.  "The Sacrament" had ironically been the topic of our family home evening lesson six days ago and we were all committed to making it a more sacred occasion. The stinky testimony of her diaper's failure on my pants shirt and jacket now threatened that possibility.
12:54 my watch declared as I sent Deana with the other 4. "We'll be on our way once we get cleaned up." I couldn't really do anything else -- or could I?
I have heard people remark that the smell of cigarette smoke was most welcome in sacrament meeting -- it meant someone was changing.  How would they respond to a different smell?? One that meant someone needs changing perhaps? Hmmm.
I needed this one too - I had been kind of ornery that morning with my kids. I had caught myself though, apologized, and repented. I needed help though, I needed a boost.  On Monday we had discussed the first principles and ordinances and how sacrament fits in after we have been baptized.
1:06, and we sat quietly (and stinkily) in the foyer.  She in her car seat still  - I brought the whole thing in, and me hunched over to hide my decorated attire.  We made it though, and I was able to renew my covenant - in perhaps a more meaningful way than usual, because I had had to fight for it this time.
After the ordinance we left and diligently changed.  I guess that's the pattern though, right?     

Mayday

"Mayday" --from the French "m'aider", a shortened version of "venez m'aider" (meaning "come and help me").
Today is May 1st, sometimes called "May Day." To celebrate the springtime in the northern hemisphere there would be dancing around the maypole, flowers, and cake.  Not at all like the international distress signal that I have used to title this entry. Then again...
Today is also a Sunday, the day when my family and I go to church to celebrate the victory of our Savior Jesus Christ over sin and death.  The sacred center point of our worship is the opportunity to renew our covenants with Him through the ordinance of the sacrament.  Bread and water are used as emblems symbolic of His sacrifice - His body and His blood - torn, broken, and shed that we might be free.  Each member of the congregation partakes personally and tangibly and remembers.
In the 11th chapter of the book of 3rd Nephi - the high point of the Book of Mormon - the Savior visits the Americas.  His visit begins with a voice - not harsh or loud - but those gathered do not understand it the first or second time.  When they turn to the sound and open their ears they hear the words, "Behold my Beloved Son" (vs. 7).  Yet when He descends, many still believe they are seeing an angel (vs. 8). Then He introduces himself and each one present is given an opportunity to have a personal and tangible experiences with the emblems of His sacrifice for them in His hands feet and side.  After this experience the record states that they all cried out "with one accord saying: Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God!"  This was their Mayday call.   
"Hōsanná" – a transliteration of the Hebrew term (hôsî-âh-nā) meaning "Oh, save now!" or "Please save!"     
It is personal tangible contact with the emblems of His sacrifice for us that allows us to see our desperate need for the salvation only he can offer. Theirs then, and ours now - our mayday.  Happy May Day.

turning the captivity of Job

So the book of Job begins by describing a very wealthy and prominent man who is also completely faithful to the Lord.  In the course of the rest of that first chapter and the next, he loses it all. His wealth is either forcefully taken from him or destroyed in turn.  Even his children are ripped from him in a tragic catastrophe. You know how the story goes from there, his wife tells him to, "curse God and die."  Then he even loses his health to a terrible plague of painful itching oozing boils. So he sits down there, in his sackcloth, to scrape himself with broken shards of pottery to find what little possible relief he can.  There he is in my mind, sitting and scraping himself.  I can almost hear the scratch of baked clay on his broken skin sometimes as I imagine it.  It is into this scene that three of his friends come.
You would think that they would be full of consolation and comfort toward their grieving and stricken friend.  The opposite is however the case.  They are critical of him and call him to repentance for the imagined sins that he is hiding -- otherwise he wouldn't have been punished so terribly.
Well the story goes on and on, and eventually he receives all his wealth back and has more children, but none of that happens until Job 42:10. "and the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends"
They needed forgiveness and he needed healing.  Both needs are met, when he invests himself compassionately in their cause the way he wished they would have done. There is full healing in full forgiveness.

Safe in a Song

Early this morning I received a message from a friend of mine wishing me a happy new year.  It was very early (around 3:30 am) when the message came through, and when he realized that, he quickly apologized. He was messaging me from Switzerland, and hadn't considered the time change correctly when he had sent it.  When I responded, I explained that I was up to help with my son's paper route. His reply was, "I hope you are delivering good news then.." So after delivering the papers this morning, I sat down to check.  The first headline for 2016 is: "Get a closer look at church."  This inaugural headline of the year was announcing the launch of a website (bookofmormoncentral.org) compiling Book of Mormon research into a central location where it could be easily searched. Awesome! Good news! I admit, I had expected otherwise. The site looks great too! I fully expect it to be a great resource to members and nonmembers alike in the coming months and years.    

As I thumbed through the rest of the paper encouraged by its face, I found a report of the arrest of Bill Cosby.  This whole saga had a very different feel.  It has been both sickening and saddening in my opinion. As I headed back to bed to catch some more sleep - this wasn't the story I wanted running in my head. As I lay down, I noticed gratefully that my emergency channel had been automatically triggered.  The idea of an emergency channel had come from President Packer who years ago suggested that thoughts flowing into places they shouldn't could be successfully recaptured by humming, singing, or thinking of a favorite hymn. My old standby has been, "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" for years.  This time, though, a different song was playing. "Love One Another," was the tune that enlightening my thoughts. As I thought about those beautiful words, the message was perfect! In a world full of misconceptions and evil ideas about the nature of love, there is a flawless example - "As I have loved you."  I couldn't help but think of the youth in my home and classroom who are constantly bombarded with evil sensual and false messages about love.  In this simple children's song is the powerful answer. His love is love. Paul counsels the Saints in Ephesus to put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6) including girding their loins with truth - with truth. The loins, representing chastity, are protected by the truth. No wonder there is so much confusion and misinformation about it in society today.  The battle is definitely on.  The truth about love is that Christ has shown us THE example. That means that any "love" song or media depiction which doesn't describe a Christlike love - is selling a counterfeit - a so called "love" that is selfishly sensual or promiscuously poisonous will never do. Jesus loves us in a selfless, devoted, compassionate, forgiving, and lasting way.  A love stronger than the very cords of death! I am so grateful for the power of the simple and beautiful truth of this hymn.  For me it has become the fight song for girding loins - a refuge of power in a world filled with smoke, mirrors, and deceptions about love.   

Where will modern Israel stand?

Recently I was shown something that I hadn't seen before in the scriptures that seems really relevant to me.  It was in 1 Nephi 11 verses 34-36.  Nephi is being instructed by a heavenly messenger about the dream his father had. After seeing the death of the Savior he is shown how the "multitudes of the earth..gather together to fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb" He learns that these are they in the large and spacious building his father saw.  More than just mocking righteousness, those that are there are fighting against apostles.  Then the angel tells him something about those who were inside. He says, "behold, the House of Israel has gathered together to fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb." If I understand this correctly, the great and spacious building is filled with the House of Israel and the way they will mock those in the paths of righteousness is by fighting against the Apostles of God. 

I guess I had always assumed that those who mock would probably be gentiles and that Israelites, God's chosen people, would surely be on the pathway to Him - for the most part at least.

Maybe they are?  They are surely a split group. 

Lehi's family seems like it could be a good example of how this works with regard to special witnesses of Christ. Nephi and Sam follow and believe while Laman and Lemuel scorn and complain. Convincing Nephi requires a faith filled prayer. Convincing Sam requires Nephi's testimony.  Laman and Lemuel will not pray - they have no faith in it.  They consider Nephi's witness as both personal and "hard."  Nephi's pattern is not just to believe in and stand for prophetic direction, but also to follow it with unyielding determination (think brass plates).  All this while he is the youngest among his brothers ("and a child shall lead them"). Truly written for our day! A day when youth are more prepared to share and testify than ever.  They lead by faith and example in this way. 

In an age where guidance from prophets, seers, and revelators is under increasing scrutiny and attack - I am grateful for faithful (and often young) witnesses who seek, find, and testify of truth and of God's chosen servants.  

For the record, I'm not sure that the 50/50 split in Lehi's sons at the time is indicative of the percentages of members (covenant Israel) that will stand for prophets either. I like to think of such numbers as emphasizing the importance of the choice we are to make (my old sport psychology textbooks from college show that a perceived 50/50 chance of success is the most motivational for athletes).  To stand by the Twelve Apostles of the Lamb is to stand on the straight and narrow path.  To follow them with determination is to find the tree. I am so grateful for the sacred witness that I have been given by the Holy Ghost of modern prophets!